the clock is chiming

by Aqeela Naqvi

the clock is chiming, marking the hour of separation and i am caught in a slow moving apart, a heavy gaze, a drinking in with the thirst of a dying man the angles of your face, the wrinkles of your eyes, holding your cloth, breathing in the remnants of scent of the only person i have ever loved.

the clock is chiming, marking the hour of separation and i am backing away, each footstep the crushing weight of mountains. “with each of my first steps, i was closer, now closer, now the closest to you in this world that i had ever been… and with my final ones, i am now farther, farther, farther from you than i wish to ever be…”

the clock is chiming, marking the hour of separation and i am walking out of the doors that enclose your grave, walking down the marble halls, looking back, until i can no longer see you anymore, and all i have left to hear in this once-more darkening world is the thudding of my heart as i turn away, the grief wracking my body as i bend over and something inside me crumbles.

the clock is chiming and my seconds with you are fading like sand slipping between my fingers. the clock is chiming and i am standing face to face with stormy seas begging, please, once more, look back at me…

the clock is chiming  and no matter how much i am reaching for your hand beneath the night sky, each of its haunting strikes is carrying me further into the blackening tide. i am reaching i am grasping for one more moment with you but my grip is loosening and the sand is streaming and the waves are pulling and the moon is weeping… and all the while, the clock is chiming, a specter, bloody in the sky.

“peace be upon you my master… i ask Allah, who destined my departure from you that He dismisses my agonies through you; who destined separation from your place, that He does not decide this time of my return to you as the last; who made me cry for you with my two eyes…who saw me at your place and guided me to greet you and visit you that He present me at your pond and grant me your companionship in Paradise…”

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